You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
