You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
