i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
