Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
