I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
