Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
