You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
