This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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