well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Randomize