oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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