Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
