It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
this just has baby written all over it
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
