I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
