I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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