I like my sex mixed with concussions.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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