I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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