I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
