Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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