My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
