don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
