Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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