the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
