Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Well I just put wine in my tea
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
