I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
