Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
