i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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