it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Sext me about skeletons
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
