How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
