I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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