I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
