So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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