Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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