So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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