he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
