so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
please come you make the beer taste better
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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