dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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