addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
