She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
ttyl tear gas
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
