Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
