i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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