Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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