Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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