Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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