i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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