We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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