This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
