:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
