dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
