The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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