i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Randomize
