i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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