Umm I'm too high to move.
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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