Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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