I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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